worries

i'm not usually one to get stressed. the only things that uspet me are failing a class and financial deadlines. now, however, it's time to add something else to that mix. you see, i really want to stay in austin this summer. i want get used to living in the house i'm sharing with kris, i want to stay connected with engineering/UT, and i want to not be 4 hours away from my boyfriend. living in abilene is a dead-end. it's highly unlikely that i would be doing anything even remotely engineering-related, and the sleeping situation sucks (a short couch or air matress are my options). 

now don't get me wrong, i love my friends that are still in abilene, and if i don't live there i'm going to miss them terribly. but every time i go home, it feels like i take a huge step backwards in the game of growing up. i need a change in the pattern of living at home in the summer then moving back to the dorms. thank goodness that no matter what i'm not living in the dorms because it's far too late to apply now. i have a beautiful little house and a fantastic roommate for next year and i really want to move in now (or, at the end of school). the house is ready, after all.

so, you may wonder, why the stress? well, with the stupid economy as it is, my college fund has gone down the drain, more or less. that means that ideally i need to make enough money over the summer to (at least) cover my housing costs for the next year. except that that's around $7000, and there are very few jobs out there that would allow me to make that kind of money.

so you see, i'm forced to take whatever living arrangement will give me the highest net income. if i live in austin i have to pay my own rent and living costs, but i can probably get a better job. i just don't think that it will outweigh the savings of living at home.

i have two job possibilities so far, and if i get both i will probably just be able to come out even for the summer. that does me no good. i need a real job - like an office job...something serious. why did i suck so bad at finding an internship? and for that matter, why did INROADS fail me. that was supposed to be a sure thing with them. they promise to get all their candidates a job :( did i do something wrong? 

*sigh*

well, let me know if you hear of any job opportunities.